The Trauma of it all

Eff trauma and ptsd. When it comes out you can run from it or you can grow. I won’t share the whole thing for privacy’s sake but J had some stuff to work through on the 4th. I understand completely tho because you see the body remembers even if the mind does not. July is a tough month for me in 1999 my grandmother died July 11th, in 2001 my papa died in July as well and I lost a baby in 2003 who was due in July. So needless to say not a very good month. 

So J was at a house with the girls and one of my trusted friends to watch some fireworks and later I realize he has been in a tiny bubble that is our house. He was in the room with several teens. He got overwhelmed and went to sit in the closet and they made some jokes about him needing to come out of the closet. Well his brain switched over to fight, flight or freeze. His inclination was to fight he called me and I spent 20 min convincing him it wouldn’t be a good idea to fight them. Well apparently he also cursed them out. My 13 year old was upset he cursed (it was literally in his paperwork that when upset he cursed a lot). So she was threatening to call me to tell. He said he would tell me himself which he did. But she called and he felt like he was going to have to go back to the facility. He got brought home and we spent several hours talking through his upsets. We went over lots of past stuff that I honestly didn’t know about. And he told me his very first foster home in 2013 lost their license because of stuff that happened on 4th of July. I assured him no matter what I’m in this for forever. 

I’m a little concerned with school but we have to work through things like this.