The following post is going to be a rundown of things that happened to me following receiving the worst news I have ever received which was my brother was dead. Later I will post about the actual 911 call and the police report and ultimately being able to piece more of the puzzle together. But from August of 2021 through early 2022 I was like a detective I did all the research and ultimately even received crime scene photos along with the police report and a recording of the 911 call.
August 4th, 2021, was the worst day of my life. I was asleep and at 4:16am my Aunt Barbara called me and told me my brother had died via a gunshot. I was in absolute horror and disbelief, about 3 seconds later my mom called me wailing and said JONATHAN IS DEAD and made a scream I can still hear in my mind. I was frantic and I said, “I’m coming, I’m coming”. I woke Alivia up and said Jonathan is dead. I need you to get up, Skye will need you there. Her first word was a tearful “WHY?!?!” I said I don’t have any idea, but I need you to hurry. I got in my car, and I am not even sure how I made it. Driving was surreal. I made it there and I felt like this cannot be reality. My parents were sitting on my mom’s porch. Mom had no color in her face and alternated between crying and screaming and reasking if he was really gone. My dad was trying to be so strong.
The coroner had banged on my mom’s windows just after 3 am but she didn’t know it was him. Skye had woken up to someone banging on her window frantically and was terrified and they called the police and huddled in the bathroom. She called my aunt and woke her up scared someone was trying to break in her house. The police came and looked around and found nothing and left. My dad called her shortly after that and said when I get there, open the door. Skye asked him how did you know something was wrong? He replied "Coroner"… My mom said surely, he means corner like he is at the corner of the street. When he got there, he delivered the fatal blow of the news Jonathan is dead. He said he was drinking, and he shot himself in front of his fiancée M. I couldn’t even believe it. Honestly that morning was a big blur. I know at some point I left mom’s house to go home and change so I could go with dad to the cremation place, and we could try to go see Jonathan one last time at the hospital. When I got home, I woke Natalie up to tell her and she screamed “why mommy”. Why was the question of the morning. It will continue to be the theme. I flipped through the clothes in my closet and my brain can’t function… What do you wear to see your baby brother one last time? It really wouldn’t have mattered, and I don’t even remember what I wore now but I recall thinking I couldn’t find anything that is appropriate because this FUCKING sucks.
While at the cremation center the hospital called and they wanted to know if he could donate anything usable (this made my dad's legs buckle and his voice shake because for a moment we thought he was still alive but alas it was a call for bones and tissue that could be used) and we said yes. Dad ordered the cremation and 5 copies of the death certificate. We went to Piedmont Midtown Next to see if we could be allowed to say goodbye. We sat for what seemed like forever, dad called the barbershop where Jonathan worked to inform them but the detectives had already been there to confirm Jonathan was left-handed. After he came inside the security officer (maybe also a policeman) from the door came over and said we had to leave so that we could not see Jonathan once more. My mom was so upset but my dad seemed relieved he had no want or desire to see Jonathan in that way. At this moment we weren’t even sure how his head and face would look but even his hand or a piece could comfort my mom. My dad dropped us back off at mom’s house. Me, my aunt Barbara and Skye all sat there just talking. M, Jonathan's fiancée and the last person to hear him alive said she would come over and offered to tell us about what she could tell. She came over around 1pm and was taken to the police station from the house and questioned for several hours.
There is a recording of her telling us of that night.
M: I had done the laundry while he was at work that day and when we got home from Stars and Strikes he had drank way too much and I asked him for help and we just got into an argument about that soooo stupid.
A: Was he alive when the ambulance showed up?
M: I held his hand and I put him on his side
A: Did he look at you?
M: *crying*
A: Do you feel like it’s because he was drunk?
M: He was so angry
A: About the sheets?
M: Because I was killing his mood. It escalated so quickly so fast
A: Did he say he was going to or did he pull it out and do it?
M:
LOONNG pause
A: in your bedroom?
M: Nods. He had put a tee shirt on his back because he said he was done and I hugged him and I said please don’t go. And He grabbed the pistol?? (Not sure that this was said)
M: keeps repeating I am so sorry I am so sorry
A: I am sorry you had to see that
T: Crying badly wailing “they wouldn’t let me say bye they won’t let me hold his hand they won’t let me see him. I don’t care what's wrong with his face
A: Is his face ok?
M: The last time I saw his face it was ok the last time I saw him. (something about his eye) he started coughing blood and so I put him onto his side and I don’t remember I just held him
T: I mean was he rational
S: He was drunk
A: He was drunk and she asked him to help make their bed and he told her she was killing his vibe and he put his shirt over his shoulder to leave and she hugged him and then he did it
S: He was trying to leave
A: and he was drunk
M: It was so stupid
A: they went to stars and strikes and they both had to much to drink
M: I just wanted some help because I spent all day working on the house
A: She spent all day cleaning the house and she wanted him to help her
T: Do you think that he actually meant to do that or was it because he was drunk?
M: I don’t think so!
T: I don’t think so either
M: He wouldn’t Fucking leave us like that
T: He wouldn’t
M: His friends did this he wouldn’t do this
T: He wouldn’t that's all I can say he didn't plan this this was not planned
M: It was sooo quick
T: He wasn’t even that mad
T: He did not plan to be in the morgue today
No response to that from M
S: Very Jonathan thing
T: Did he act like he was hurting? What were you drinking?
M: He had a shot at our friend's house before we left. They each bought pitchers shared amongst the group. I don’t know how much of it he drank.
A: Do you think he didn’t know there was a bullet in there? And if I just pick it up like?
M: To try to scare me
A: to let him go let him leave at that point
M: I am so sorry
A: It’s not your fault
M: I should have just went to bed
A: Do you think that his brain was working when you called the ambulance?
M: He was still breathing when I called
A: Was he able to talk or speak?
M: No he couldn’t say anything I talked to him I said baby please stay with me please please
Aunt Barb comes in and says we can go to hospital and mom invites M to go. This is when we got to go and say goodbye. Aunt Barbara went to Marissa's house to get shoes for M to wear as she had no shoes on coming from the police station.
When we get to the hospital we are put into a small waiting area to wait for them to finish getting him ready for us. At this point I really regret not revisiting the moment before it happened I still had many questions to ask:
Did he say I am going to kill myself to her?
When did he obtain the gun?
Sheets do not make any sense. Was there something else he was angry over?
But instead I don’t ask she says “We had the best day yesterday we went to the place we had our first date and we had so much fun going out with our friends (the good people)”
Me: Was that planned? him taking you to a first date place?
Her: We just kind of wound up there with our roommate and him.
My internal dialogue now finds it suspicious he gave her this awesome day did he plan it? My head says maybe my heart says no….
Then a kind lady security officer comes to get us. She takes my mom ever so sweetly and hugs her and holds her hand down the elevator to where I can assume is the morgue we go. Down a long cold empty hallway we walk. They take us to a door and we go in. He is laid with his feet to head going from left to right so we had a view of his left side of his body. His mouth still had the intubation tubes in it and he was covered up to his neck with the sheet. Right above his ear is a wound that looks like a cigarette burn. This is where the bullet must have went in… We did not think to look for the exit wound at the time. Now we are there to say our goodbyes: a mom to her son, a sister to her brother and a fiance to her love. They kiss his forehead and touch his hair. When my turn comes I say to everyone you won’t like what I have to say to him!!
Me to Jonathan “You’re a fucking asshole!! But man do I love you and I am sure going to miss you.”
We turn to walk out and mom turns back and the sweet nurse comes and says I saw you turn around do you need longer? Mom went back to her baby boy's head and spent a little more brief moments of time before we left.
We will never get any more answers from the fiancée and things get a little weird from here with her going forward.
The days are blurry from here until Saturday. Lots of sitting with mom in the daytime and helping my dad clean at nighttime. On Friday mom couldn’t be located. She said I am at a park. But she wasn't, she drove over to Jonathan's needing to see his bedroom for herself. We all thought this was torture for her mind but alas it is something she as a mom needed. The fiancée came to let her in and was sort of rude. She said first she didn’t have to let her in, that Jonathan's name was only on the deed and not the mortgage. But truly that did not matter… Then she agreed to let her in and told her she couldn’t touch anything… So mom goes in and she sees what happened and where she collects Jonathan’s dog Malinko’s ashes and paw print she gets a plug he wore in his ear.
If you want to watch I have a link to his funeral here: Youtube to Jonathan's Funeral
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